Im at strip club and am horny
More tranny stories later!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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