Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
