I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
