What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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