Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
