Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
