I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
