the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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