maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
