I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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