He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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