I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
