Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i think i just lost a toe
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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