do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The best revenge is premature balding
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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