Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
