I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
What a dumb baby whore.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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