Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize