Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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