the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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