I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
