We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize