none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
