i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
