forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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