listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
