pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
