How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
