I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
