I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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