Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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