Kiss
Puke
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
