Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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