There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
