i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
