so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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