Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
