we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
