Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
vagina is talking i cant
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
