If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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