i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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