Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
that may or may not have been my penis.
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