you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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