you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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