dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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