I can't breathe out the right side of my face
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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