D3 body, D1 cock
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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