He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
