it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
