im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
