it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
