just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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