Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
