Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
How external is "for external use only"?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize