It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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