so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
