Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
