i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize