Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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