Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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