You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
